Case of the Aluminum Waterbottle

February 2010

So, do you remember a couple years ago when I sent my key ring on a vacation up to Utah? No? Well, that is definitely something you should check out if you need a good laugh for the day.

Anyhow, I have another one to add to the list…another nutmegHs move, but this time the culprit was one of those earth friendly, aluminum water bottles.

Let’s set the stage: I have been driving quite an elderly vehicle (mid-90’s Toyota Camry) that is still in excellent condition, but definitely has seen younger days. It creeks and whines a bit in the morning and when going around turns, you know, the usual with older vehicles. Since being in my care, I have been very diligent with the oil changes and regular maintenance…updating of tubes/hoses and other fun rubber items that older cars need to have replaced, but there had been this sound, unidentifiable sound, that had been growing more persistent over the past few weeks.

I had tried point the sound out to my husband, but it seemed to only surface when I was driving by myself (nothing better than an unidentifiable sound that only rears its head when you are alone to make you sound certifiably crazy!). Well, the sound was occuring often enough that I finally felt I could take it to my friends at the Toyota “Health Clinic” (The Truck Shop) to have them look at the issue. Not only was there a creaking sound, but now it sort of felt like something was coming through the undercarriage of the car. That couldn’t be healthy for the car, so it was finally time to take it to the specialists.

I always try to do my research before going in to a car shop so I don’t sound like a complete moron….maybe it was the CV boots or possibly a bearing in one of the front tire areas (yeah, I know, it doesn’t really help your cause if you can’t actually show that you know where the parts are that you are talking about)? I wasn’t really sure but they said they would take a look at it and let me know. Thankfully they are just around the corner from where I work, so I could drop the car off in the morning and then pick it up after work.

When I called near the end of my day, James (the owner) said that he couldn’t find anything like the noise I had described. They had driven it around the block a couple of times, and nothing to be found. He suggested that we go out in the car together so I could point the sound out to him. All I could think was, Great, I truly am crazy.

So, I hike my way over to his shop and we jump in the car for a spin around the block. James is a rather quite type of guy, so I was doing most of the talking…”So, the car didn’t make the sound, huh? Maybe I am just hearing things…How is business at the shop going?”

Ding! Grind…Creak! BANG!

Me: “THAT! Did you hear that? That is the sound the car as been making!”

Ding! Grind…Creak! BANG!

Me: “There it is again! Do you have any idea where it is coming from?”

James: “Actually it sounds like it is coming from your side of the car.”

Me: “Really? I thought it originally sounded more like the right front area…”

Ding! Grind…Creak! BANG!

Me: “Did you feel that? What do you think that could be?”

James: “Honestly, it sounds like it is coming from underneath your seat. Have you cleaned out your car recently?”

Me: “My seat? Actually, yes, I cleaned it out just a couple weeks ago. What could possibly…”

While I was uttering my final sentence I leaned back and reached under my seat to find the brushed silver culprit. That damn earth friendly aluminum water bottle.

Truly, there are no words that could be uttered by me at that point in time. My face zoomed through pink & red and settled on a very deep shade of scarlet embarrassment (not a color I would recommend wearing on a regular occasion, but is humbling to sport every so often).

I looked over and let out a quick embarrassed twitter, stated that I actually dye my hair brown (please don’t tell) and then asked the only question I felt I could, “So, how much do I owe you for your time and patience?”

James was nice enough to say that this one was on the house. I sent them over a Subway gift card as repayment for the lunchtime they likely spent on the car and dealing with me.

So, note to all those out there, make sure you diligently check under your seats for those “friendly” water bottles before taking the car in for funny sounds.

Cat Fight, and I think I lost

So, I am house sitting my Aunt’s house, when in reality that means I am “Kitty Sitting,” the house is just an awesome by-product of the job. Normally the routine goes like this: I arrive at the house after work and am greeted by the very vocal Fido the Kitty Kat (you would have to know my Aunt to know why that name is fitting for her cat). We exchange some greetings that go something like this:

“Hi kitty! How are you?”

“Meeeorrrrm.” (aka: I am alive by have been cooped up in a house all day)

“Ready to go out for a walk?”

“Meowwrm.” (Umm, yes, of course I am…let’s get move on this…there are bugs to chase and some plants to explore).

“Alright, let me just put my purse down.”

“Mrrrrm.” (Jeez, this woman takes forever! Just let me outside already. I got this down).

So, we then proceed to go on a walk around my Aunt’s garden. We play some hide and seek….he does the hiding, I do the freaking out and seeking (My aunt has quite a bit of chaparral in the backyard which is perfect breeding ground for unsavory creatures who might find plump kitties to be yummy treats). We will then come inside, I am then allowed to pet and scratch him and then I may feed him. He is quite a love bug, just a demanding love bug.

The following morning then starts at between 5am – 5:30am (and no, I am not normally up at this time), where he comes to greet me and wrestle me out of bed. I once tried closing the door to my room thinking this would deter him from bothering me…only to find that his cries/meows can reach decibels NO creature should be allowed to reach and therefore gave up immediately to the idea of locking him out of the room. I now am at the whim of waking up far earlier than I care to so that I may refill his food bowl and then take him on an early morning jaunt through the garden. He is then satisfied after about 20-30 minutes and I am shuffling/stumbling over to the coffee machine, which is from Switzerland and requires a PhD in Mechanical Engineering to operate…thank goodness they include Ikea-like picture instructions. I keep pouring myself Espressos instead of coffee, but that is just the jolt I need at 6am anyway.

THIS kitty sitting is slight different because Fido recently he had minor surgery on one of his hind legs and in order to reduce infection, I have been instructed to leave the kitty inside. For a cat who is used to at least 3-5 walks a day around the house premise, this is just not acceptable. The first couple of days we were on friendly terms, as I work during the day, so when I came home he now had someone to entertain him for a couple hours and to refill his food plate. However, with the onset of the weekend, his attitude dramatically changed and I got the full brunt of it today.

Yesterday it rained (really, it does that in San Diego, CA? What does that even look like?), so he was ok with the fact that he could not go outside. Today, however, it is sunny, beautiful and about 70 degrees and he knows it. We got into a pissing match this morning, which I am fairly certain I lost. He started his morning at 7:30am, which was nice of him to let me sleep in somewhat and the wake up call started nice enough. He jumped up onto the bed and started with a couple nonchalant “meows” and some requests for petting of the head and scratches behind the ears. Nothing too crazy. He then decided I was not motivated enough to get out of bed, and apparently because it is Sunday, he let it go..only every half hour after that, he was in my room meowing and walking all over my body. By about 9am, I finally rose out of bed, filled the food bowl and thought we would be done….I was wrong.

He ate and then his meows only became more insistant. I opened the doors out to the garage, giving him more areas to explore, which distracted him for all of about 10 minutes. He came back in the kitchen with spiderwebs all over him (really?) and with attitude behind his meows:

“MEOWRRM!”

“What do you want from me? Aunt said I can’t let you outside. I know that is what you want, but you need to take it up with her.

“M–E–O–W–R—R–M!–!–!” (I don’t give a f*&$%! YOU are here NOW! I want outside NOW! NOW! NOW!”)

“What?! I told you, I–“

“MEOWRM” (Don’t care! Let me out now!”)

“I can’t! Your leg–“

“M-E–O–W.” (I will get you in your sleep. You watch it…you won’t even see it coming..)

Normally we have a bit of dialog and then he gets bored and wanders off, but this time he had intent in his eyes and I could feel him sizing me up for a midnight hunting somewhere down the line. I started to walk down the hallway but he wasn’t giving up. He shot ahead of me, turned and just stared at me, with that persistent meow, only with a bit more throaty sound, that sound that cats make when they are really ticked off. I tried to go around, but his pupils were really big and I could see that were I to move, an ACE bandage would be in need along with some Neosporin for my ankles and rather than having my lower joints ripped to shreds, I turned around and walked back to the kitchen.

I have been schooled by a 10 pound cat. Auntie, come home soon…PLEASE!!!